Thank you Donald Trump for motivating me to go out and vote on a day when there isn’t even an election in my district! I wanted to go out and vote for Dem. Shelly Mayer in the special election for the 37th senatorial district of New York, but after driving around and a phone call to her headquarters I realize that I can’t, because I’m not actually in her district. My feeling of electoral deprivation is relieved only by Mayer’s (not unexpected) victory. Neighbors also reported succumbing to premature (Trump) ejectulation.